Photocopying Papers

I have today been photocopying all the papers I found after my Mother died. They have brought so many memories to the forefront. These papers have included not only cards sent to my Mother by my Father while he was abroad, but also the last card he sent before his death. He always wrote a few lines in the cards that he sent and the last lines in this anniversary card read "to think on without regret, & there's lot left us, us two, yet." How wrong he was, 9months later he had died. Mam always said that he knew he was dying and left a tape recording for us, I am looking for a spare reel at the moment as we have filled all our reels on the tape recorder (it's a very old reel to reel one).

As much as my Father 'played around' and disappeared for months on end, I truly believe that she was his real love. I know that there was no other man for Mam and she loved him to the end of her life. Once she told me that after he retired it was just like being on honeymoon all over again. This makes me smile now as I think of it - they were married in England and then sailed to Singapore (six week honeymoon!). She told me that as the boat left Southampton, the band was playing 'Red Sails in the Sunset' and this was so appropriate as she sailed west down the Solent and into sunset. Mam's new life took a lot of getting used to really, she had not only the Army life but also the life style. I must admit that, after going to Africa, I can understand a little bit of this, one is treated almost like a God and servants are eager to serve you. She loved the life, especially the heat and the tropical planting. I think she found a freedom that she never had at home - she was the youngest child with three older brothers. She was devastated when she lost her first child - Keith Edward - and then when she had a miscarraige, she began to feel 'lost'. The nurse at the hospital, when she arrived as she had to travel by ferry to the mainland, asked what she had done this time and my mother was appalled that anyone could think she didn't want this baby! My father was home every night and they attend many parties and social functions. When Ena was born she had an amah to help her but found it difficult to leave her beautiful baby and only left her when she had no other choice - again the Regimental parties etc. Even after they moved to Gibraltor, she was still enamoured of the Army life. When Peter and I went to Gib (as my father called it) it felt unreal to think that I was walking where both my parents and sister had walked pushing Tony in a pram and then years later Tony had walked when he was stationed there. So I continue photocopying the certificates; births, weddings & funerals........

Babies

Little memory popped into my head yesterday -

Not longer after we brought Catherine home from hospital, I was changing her nappy - she couldn't have been more than 5 days old - and Edward was watching. He stood quietly watching for some time and then he said to me "you'll have to take her back". Why's that I asked. "They haven't made her properly, she doesn't have a winkie". So I had to give a simple explanation as to the difference between boys and girls - not bad observation for someone who was about to become two years of age!!

My Brother (part 2)

We managed to find out that Tony had gone to a Catholic Church, who made enquiries and then sent him to Our Lady of the Wayside Church and Father O'Mahoney redirected him to Ena's. So she took him in and he stayed until everything was sorted and he had his discharge papers come through (he had gone AWOL so had to face the consequances). He found out that Pat had returned to her home in Bootle and was staying at her mother's with all the children. he stood as Godfather to Myra and it was just great having him around. Ena and Ron may not have agreed, although he was Ena's brother even she could not stomach the smell of his feet! Eventually Pat's mother wrote to him asking that he come and collect the children as they were being so neglected. How or when this happened I do not remember but I do know that it took Mom and Ena several weeks to get the girls clean from the head lice etc. (Tony could only get the girls, Pat would not let him bring Anthony with him). So Ena found schools for the girls and they all lived in her house, Veronica has many a tale about this time! Tony found a job as a Supermarket Manager at the Maypole and so he moved into a house over that way. Eventually he progressed to another supermarket and we lost contact with him yet again. Although I asked Ena for his address when Dad died, she maintained that she did not have it, (Ena knew that Dad had said he didn't want Tony there).
After Mom had her fall and was taken into hospital, Ena contacted Tony and they visited Mom every day at the hospital. When I arrived afterwards I was shocked to see my brother, he was totally white haired and wheezed like a good one!!! He sounded just like my father and when I closed my eyes the only thing missing was the Geordie accent. It hurt!
After the funeral he left and I never saw him again. He died in Telford, where I believe two of his girls still live (Patricia and Dawn).

My Brother (part 1)

My brother Tony (Anthony David) was 9 years older than me and was born while my parents were living in Gibraltar. I can remember that he was in a musical show held at my junior school (Corpus Christi), I think it was based on the 'Ralph Reader Gang Show' and he was in the chorus singing 'All the nice boys love a sailor'. That I can remember but when ........... that I do not know!!
I remember losing the key to the front door one day after school, I had to wear it round my neck 'cos he couldn't be trusted to look after it. I had dropped it down the drain in the kerb (don't ask me why ......... I was only little!!). Several friends tried to help me get it back but we all failed and then round the corner came my big brother. He lifted off the drain cover and put his arm down into that murky water and retrieved the key, what a hero!!! We all applauded and his street cred went up!
When I left Mrs Creanen's class and went into the first Junior class - with such an awful teacher - I came home crying and cried and cried. My mother told me to try to cheer up as it was Tony's birthday and his friends would be coming round and I didn't want them to see me crying. So I dried my eyes and went downstairs to Tony's 16th Birthday party and sat down. Several hours later it was decided that no-one was coming to his party - his birthday was 23rd July.
At some point about this time there happened an horrific scene - to my small mind. I heard shouting and came upstairs, my mother was on the landing shouting at my father who was in Tony's room. As I looked through the open door into the room, my father brought a chair down onto my brother's back and then my mother brought me down stairs. Years later I found out that my brother stole, not only from my mother's purse but anything he could lay his hands on (in retrospect - I think all children pass through a stealing stage which must be handled with love). This time he had taken his stamp collection - worth quite a bit of money - and he had 'sold' it to one of his school friends and it was the final straw for my father.
There is another memory of him see 'Queen's Coronation'
As soon as he was old enough, my brother joined the Royal Artillery and only appeared now and then. After we moved to Hall Green, he was only home occasionally, I can remember the pride I felt as he stood to attention, in his 'dress uniform', when the National Anthem was played at the cinema. He came home for my sister's wedding, and sometimes afterwards - another proud moment when he accompanied me to church, once again in his dress uniform. He was posted to Gibraltar (one time bringing me a pair of pink silk pyjamas and slippers in a beautiful pink silk case). Then he was posted back to England, and we saw very little of him - he was my hero.
I was about 14 when he came home with a wife and child. It was a shock to 'the grown ups', my parents had bad feelings about her but she was Tony's wife ........... Pat stayed at ours with baby Jackie, who was about 12months old, after Tony went to Germany .......... she wasn't a nice person - but saying that, she was young, in a strange town with unknown people. She wanted the single life and resented the baby at times. Happenings that I cannot write here, but I think that we were all relieved when she eventually went to join Tony in Germany. They had three more children, Patricia, Dawn and Anthony Jr. We received letters and a couple of photos over the years, but they never came home to us.
In 1968 Tony came back into our lives, dishevelled, distraught and sitting on Ena's doorstep. He had come home from work to find Pat in bed with his best friend! He could remember very little after that until Ena came home and found him on her doorstep.